It was supposed to be just another day at the tango class.

He was practicing the shopping cart lead with a new follower, her hands on his shoulders, her gaze on his hairy chest. He was wearing his unbuttoned to the belly regulation black tango shirt. As he pushed and pulled, he repeated what he had said to so many followers, follow, feel, move beautifully, knees together, don’t wanna look ugly, do you?

But there was something about this follower that just didn’t jive. He tried very hard to focus on his long expertise as a practice post for followers but he couldn’t figure out what was unusual about this particular one. Then just as they passed the Cosmetics and Personal Hygiene section he stopped in disbelief.

The motion around the follower’s mouth was the unmistakable sign of gum chewing. He had never seen a follower chew gum and walk at the same time! They were now staring at each other, their breath intertwined in an ethereal mist of Altoids and Clorets. His brain was at warp speed searching for speech. You are…, his mouth felt like the bottom of a bird cage, you are…, he was feeling real stupid now, you are a WOMAN, he finally blurted out. Yes, I am, she said. My name is Sue, how do you do?

For the next half hour Sue and Narciso conversed. By the end of the class he had buttoned up his shirt and he was thinking, what an experience! Thank you very much maestro, Sue said. Was it really true? Had she just called him maestro? Holy boleos! And before he could grasp for more air she asked, any words of wisdom before I leave, maestro? He gave her a gentle tango kiss on the cheek and whispered in her ear, stay away from the dulce de leche, it goes straight to your butt.

Posted April 21, 2009 by Alberto & Valorie in HUMOR

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