Life is full of traumatic experiences and then we decide to learn tango. It all began in paradise when unadulterated Adam thought that he was taking a pleasant bite of a delicious apple and ended up condemning the entire male species to pay for his blunder.
Eve didn’t fare so well either because she was also punished for her tempting ways. This simple reality tends to disturb many people who are still in a severe state of denial. The simple facts of life tend to be obscured by some severe hang ups. They prefer to believe the music men who come to town and make them buy all sorts of distorted concepts like tango is just steps danced to any music, or tango is not a social and cultural representation of a country but just another dance with a leader and a follower.
Sorry to break the news to you. Men and women are totally different human beings; it takes three to tango, a man, a woman and a tango. The first male tango dancers did not learn and practice with their female counterparts. When they hit the dance floor there were as ready as they could be or they would be ridiculed out of those early milongas.
Ever since, the sanitized and politically corrected version of the Argentine tango has kept a subtext of drama every time a mans steps onto the floor to dance with a woman. The fear of failure and rejection resulted in the adoption of a macho attitude to cover up hurt feelings and dispel any doubts about perceived manhood.
The fact is, men are vulnerable simple and very sensitive. It is unlikely that a man would turn down any woman because she is a beginner and she is struggling with her first steps. Yet it is more likely to find one or two women who shy away from male beginners to the point of recommending that the man go away and find his balance before asking them to dance again. Equally painful is the plight of the planchadoras, the women who are not asked to dance. This is the way it was, and in a lot of ways, the way it is.
Argentine men have had to face the facts administered by their female counterparts in the dance halls of Buenos Aires. I’m happy to report that a change is underway with the new global economy that has brought on the greenery of tango tourist dollars. Lucrative tours to tango communities around the world turn Argentines into sidekicks of entrepreneurial characters.
It is a kinder and gentler tango experience for men who are not born in the old country where the good old tango has its roots. It makes them feel good to be able to stumble around the floor with some of the most talented Argentine dancers. It is good business too.
For the rest, you have made the choice to keep on trying, to keep on learning and to keep on practicing, to be able to be at your best. The daily experience of facing a woman dancer still is and will always be nerve wracking, because no matter how you cut it, she is still the one carrying the apples. When she says no, it is just not in our nature to find one of the boys and ask him, would you like to dance with me?
